All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
