Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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