is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
