I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
