lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You're my little dorito
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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