either way he was missing a nipple.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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