It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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