Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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