I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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