shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
