Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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