is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
she smelled like a LAN party
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
