I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
