I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
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