I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
