doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
