Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
