if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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