So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You are the jesus of drinking
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
