so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
