it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
my sisters under your porch take her home
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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