I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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