That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
