So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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