I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
