i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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