He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
oh god was she eating orange peels again
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
