Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
The convent might be a nice break from real life
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
