I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
