yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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