problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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