Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
