He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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