well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
