Need sex. Gaining weight.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I need a beard to bite.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
