Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
