you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Boobs are out for the taking
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
