i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
