it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
