whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
