apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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