school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
