Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
