the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
