If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
