I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
This baby is an asshole
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
