Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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