Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
