I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
