Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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