More tranny stories later!
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
