Come see our sink grown plant.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
