It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Terrible idea I love it
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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