Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
