is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
