So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
