did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
